Taiwo and I have been married 4 yrs now. We have two lovely babies and counting…
So far we have grown, Taiwo got a job working as an IT sales person just to support the home. He is combining this with business. It was God all the way so all thanks to Him. Our finances have improved and our lives are actually better. I also got a better paying job although the work is super stressful. Our marriage is more mature, Taiwo seems to understand me more and is working with my unique self. I have learnt to honor him as he is the king of my life. No other man in my life gets the honor I give to Taiwo both publicly and privately. I am learning to also understand what his family regards as honor, and I am trying to honor him, while with them, in their own way. It is different and not our style at all, but we have to do what we must, to make his family happy.
In all, I am still in the journey towards honoring Taiwo the way he deserves. He is a good man, and I am a lucky woman.
Recently someone asked me to evaluate my marriage after 3years and say what i have learnt. I said this;
I have learnt that its my responsibility to make my husband happy. Whether he makes me happy in return or not, wheather he appreciates my gesture or not, wheather its convinient for me or not. I just wake up everyday and find creative ways to make my husband happier and happier. What i get in return is a man who strives to make me happier and happier too. In other words, when you are not in marriage for your selfish desires to be met, when its not all about you you you, when you act selfless with the sole intention of making the other person as happy as possible…you get this sacrifice retured to you and the “wheels on the bus goes round and round”.
This is the ultimate lesson…and indeed i am truly the happiest woman alive.
Baby and I have been through it all and reading my last post I just laugh because I lost that job that made me feel so mannly!!!
He took care of us…his business isn’t Der yet but it’s climbing real fast and its really exciting. He takes care of us and I contribute as best as I can. We went through that and we are still strong.
Marriage is hard people. Everyone just says that, but noone really tells you exactly what that means because they are hidding their private struggle.
Baby has been out of work for a while now. He has been working really hard to start his business. Its all going so well, but it has a long way to profitability or income. All this time iv been “manning up” and footing the bills. As im not wired to do this,its been really hard for me. Id rather i had a husband who sorted these things out. But what keeps pushing me to wake up every morning and go work for money is the hope that one day we would have a business that will transform our lives. Its a matter of time.
However,as i hussle daily,i dnt expect a “baby thank you for how you hold this home together in these times”. I dont want that. But i also dont feel i deserve “Did you keep food for me before you left for work?” Esp when food has finished and iv not had money to replace yet. I dont think i deserve that. And to shout this ear shot of my little 18yr old cousin, thats just evil. You make her feel im not a competent wife, like i deliberately decided not to cook after you have given me 1 million naira.
So i said to myself, “ENOUGH!!” Going forward, you foot the bills. All bills go to you,im nolonger helping. This is the same man who said “you are not the woman of the house,your cousin is, because she is the one who cooks the meals”.
I wake up every day,rush to work so you see food to eat,when im at work i ask her to cook cuz i cm back exhausted…and this is what you say.
ENOUGH!!! Im nolonger your man…you will foot the bills going forward or we will not eat.
Wow…my kidi is 8months and almost walking..my mum has passed on…life alot of life has happened. So reading all this is so interesting. (Guess i never got the hang of consistency lol).
Anyway, what can I say, my marriage is still amazing, baby still rocks,we are good. But some twist have threatened to shake our foundation. For instance, baby’s business has still not kicked off and i carry most of the financial responsibilities. That was cool year one but year 2 and im getting a bit frustrated. Im actually looking for a better paying job cuz my current salary isnt enough with Timi growing up and all. But im practicing something,when i start feeling frustrated, i send a text to baby saying how much i love and miss him. I say how proud of him i am and how much I believe in him. Not easy but usually i feel less frustrated and the love comes flooding back. I also noticed he hates having to ask me for money, so i spend what i need and keep for him in a box in our room so he just goes to pick when he needs. He doesn’t have to account for it too. When i notice he is getting too comfortable i ginger him and all. In all I trust God in the life of my husband and I believe God has the ultimate plan for his life.
When we enter marriage we have so many expectations. The reality can be shocking. Its not the time to whine and complain or become a witch or nag queen. Its time to pray and support and respect your husband in all things.
So Baby and I have been super busy with planning the burial, taking care of Timi and all… But i had to slip in a few post cuz Im working on my consistency.
Sooooo…iv noticed that baby and i PLAY!!!! My God we are like children…lol. Inasmuch as im not always in the mood to play and my husband can be a joker at the wrongest times, but ive realised playing with my husband might be the major reason we are so happy.
You might be wondering what i mean by play…observe below;
- When we pass each other he always has to force a kiss or 💋 on me or tap my ass or hug me or do a funny face.
- When im taking a bath he must kiss my nipples and i feel its wierd so i splash water on him but he never gives up and vice versa
- When he is working i come into his office and try to drag him out via his boxers, singlet or whatever and he fights!!!oh he fights
- When he is watching tv i come and play prostitute to distract and it ALWAYS!!works(such a pervvvv)
- We crack jokes, we make fun of people, we play play play!!!
This has gone a long way in making us enjoy eachother. We resolve differences faster bcuz you just want your play buddy back. We are always happy and there is never any tension between us…ever!!!people love hanging with us cuz we are such a fun bunch and we are always so so happy.
Never let the issues of life steal your play. Never be so responsible or too serious to let your hair down with your spouse. This might be the major foundation holding your marriage together…you never know.
people i hail o!
So at some point in my journey i gave birth on the 11th of sept to my booboo! This has already started putting a strain in my marriage as i have been in hospital for 3 days and iv noticed my husband would be anywhere else but here. Apparently the stress of taking care of a baby is beyond his threshold. But i must say Baby has been a rock to me this period i cannot lie. Although he seems so ignorant about baby drama, you can see him struggle to put his best foot forward. He rubbed my back and supported me during labour, shared in my sleepless nights singing to the little one, or just tried to make me laugh on a very bad day. I guess id like him to be baby daddy savvy like some dads i know (baby didnt know the difference between pampers and diapers), but in his way he is doing his best and i appreciate that, thats good enough for me. On the other hand, concerning my last post, i sent a mail to baby stating how i felt about his obession to work, he replied by coming to me while i slept, kissed me on the cheek, admitted he may have been carried away, promised to change, and since then actually made the effort to change. Guess i married the best man ever!!!!